snapshots

visiting a support group for HIV positive patients from kijabe hospital...we file in the open church doors...strange smells from unfamiliar people are all around me...

one boy named milly is singing “refiner’s fire”—he looks very sick and malnourished...his teeth broken and discolored...but he sings full of the love of God...

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy, holy

this is one of the most disturbing experiences of my life...

i’ve only been here five minutes...God...

a man tear slids down my face...no one sees it...

there is a depth to the spirituality i see here... when he adds in the second holy he knows who he is singing it to...

after the group i meet john...he wants to be a photographer so i let him take some pictures with my camera...we talk about his family...

his father passed away, three brothers and four sisters...he was diagnosed with HIV three years ago but since he started taking the ARVs he felt much stronger and healthier...

i want to send him a camera...

people are starting to move closer to me...at first it’s five...then ten...maybe twenty people...i am getting nervous...

john starts taking pictures...i start showing them around...all these people move in closer...

one of the girls moves right next to me...she says something...everyone laughs really hard...i know why they are laughing but i don’t know what the hell she said...i asked john...

he laughs and says that this girl wants me to take her with me to america so she can take care of me...i give her a high five...and everyone starts to laugh again...

i have no idea how many people are around me now...what a strange experience this is...every single one of them is HIV+...it’s sobering...but surprisingly easy to see beyond that to their humanity and elegance...they all say the word happy a lot...they say i am very happy that—...and they smile...

later back at the hospital i receive my kikuyu name...kamau...all the africans think its a big joke...kamau...what does that even mean...